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I love a good conversation starter, one such was a movie scene with sean austin. he is doing a monologue about the eleventh man. so he is surrounded by other guys and he is telling them a story about this girl who is surrounded by ten guys. all of them lighting her cigarette and pouring her drinks, telling her how beautiful she is. and then this elenvth guy comes up and she wants pays attention to him. and he ends the monologue with the guy she wants to be with is the guy who doesnt give a crap about her.

the comments were amazing. but then i started to think about it.

in that scene, his character is going through a very rough time mentally. and you have the comments going off, thats cus women...

and i couldnt help but think, the woman has every right to choose who she wants to be with. this is the person we want to be with. damn right be fucking picky.

but at the same time, dont be so full of yourself, that you lose yourself in the process. because yes, you will be leaving the safety of the crowd, but that one who you choose might be a predator.

and then i started to think about the character in the movie. his mental state was so low that he was now thinking that women want only the jerk.

and I couldnt help but think as well... well, dont we do the same thing as well? men that is. the roles can be interchanged here. genders swapped. and either way you look at it. that isnt a good mental state to be in where you are almost at a defeatest mentality.

So, yes be selfish, you have to, its your future, but here is the thing. no one is truly going to tell you the truth and be honest about it. the trick is recognizing whats the same. so look back at the story. as the ten guys surrounding her, all of them the same. faceless yes maam's.

of course she wouldnt be interested in the same crap everyone else has. she is drawn to someone who walks their own path. why not be the eleventh guy. go do your own thing, walk your path and those that want to follow you will start to walk by with you. but the ones who truly are there for you. help you try and stand back up if you fall.

This is the same for the women. first off, if you find yourself being surrounded by the same. i wouldnt care either and i understand why you would go for something different. change is a good thing. its how we grow.

and who is to say that the ten guys surrounding her arent diamonds in the rough.

boy... if you were a diamond in the rough, you wouldnt be kneeling infront of her like a lost puppy in the first place.

but dont lose hope. fuck no. i mean you do you. take steps to follow your dreams. if you find someone that is also interested in the same path as you so be it and be awesome. but you shouldnt be begging. same goes for women too.

be the strong independant woman you can be. but remember your life is not dictated by gender roles on the outdated bullshit of crap we call human history.

so... boys and girls... dont be the begging puppies. be the eleventh guy. that goes for you all. be the eleventh guy and be that chick. be selfish because its your life fuck everyone else. if they want in, come on and walk with you hand in hand through your lifes hells. if they can do that they are a keeper. and be the guy. because you need to walk your own path. in order to get to where your goals are. if you dont know what you want or do. then work towards something that you are passionate about. craft, draw whatever you find enjoyable. do it and never beg to be with someone. that someone who is worth your time. will come up and take your hand and walk with you through hell.